My first scholarship ever in my life, but I will most likely not be claiming it. Though this was a bit late, today I find out that I am a NSERC Recipient...by process of elimination.. haha.. but still a NSERC Recipient if I choose to become one...
With this, all the preconditions for what I had thought about executing a year this time ago are in place... only it is 6 months late. Is this fate telling me there might still be hope?...Or is it fate trying to test my mettle to see if I am still the same boy I was who hang on too much to the past?
Don't get me wrong, I cannot regret the decision that I have made.. and in actuality, the preconditions were not met before the hard deadline. Besides, I am liking what I am involved in right now... and the potential that is inherently infused into it. So it's not really like I made a wrong decision at all. Perhaps the best way to think about it is that I had two good choices to pick from... so it was a win vs. win situation? But nevertheless, it's just interesting that 6 mths later, fate seems to be telling me that if I had chose this other path, the plan I had drafted a year ago could have been carried out...
But then again, though as impossible as it may be, I wonder what and where would I be if the desired uttered the words of desire. The trump card that alone would suffice for me to attempt what all these preconditions would have led to. 5 mths later yet still I dream...the bet that I would be willing to risk everything for...
It was funny today actually. In a day when I am reminded of my past, another part of my past magically appeared literally out of thin air. There were two peculiar things this night... One is really not my business, nor should I be thinking or caring about it, so we will leave that one aside. But the other peculiarity is the comment about that 'my face looked drained' after this encounter. This struck me a little bit.. since I really didn't think I was feeling anything at all... I wonder how I look at that moment, and more interestingly, how this vibe got picked up...
...Look forward and don't look back. If it was meant to be, then there will be another chance and a reason to work to get the pieces to fall into place. If it was not meant to be, then even if the world is moved, and heaven is flipped upside down, the endeavour is but a pointless and futile one...
On a lighter note, almost cooked my own face today when I opened the oven half awake... That was funny, yet dangerous... haha
1 comment:
so i saw u replied my blog..haha
guess what? i'm doing JA again this week =)
yea..keep walking and everything is eventually going to turn out right. only look back for memories, and never look back to regret.
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