Reflection: Know and Ask for What You Want...

So it seems that after years, I am finally able to show my emotions. But then again, come to think of it, have I ever been able to hide my emotions?... Now that I am able to show it, perhaps its time to be able to show/not show it depending on the circumstances... hrmmmmmm....

Anyway, so recently, I've been looking for ways to improve one of my major weaknesses... lack of communication skills. Decided to read a book about it, but ended up reading one of those self-development books... Two points that struck a chord in me...

#1) "Know what you want, ask for what you want"
So this seems pretty straightforward eh? Decide what you want, then go for it. But extending on this, the book mentions that 'asking' for what you want is more than just walking up to a person and asking. It actually requires 'acting and doing'... Knowing about the details of what you want, preparing for it, and actually asking are necessary to show your interest. Just walking up and asking without having done anything is a waste of time... for both you and the other person... and conversely, planning out everything but not acting is just the same...

I think back now and realize that alot of times, I fail because either I don't know what I want, or I don't ask after I know what I want. For the times at tasks that I am successful in, I do know what I want, and prepare for it, and then I go for it.

Such a simple phrase, but so much wisdom within it.

#2) You must take risks. And you must be at the table to win...
This is contrary to what I am used to. Be it with proper planning, or just random luck, I have always only executed a task when the probability of success is high. But reading about this made me realize that this may not be the best approach. What is interesting is that the book mentions that you can deliberate all you want and guess what the number (say in a roulette game) is gonna be... But you will not win anything even if you are right. Sure, you don't lose anything, but you will never win!!! If you were at the table, there is a chance you will lose, but what happens if you win? And what happens if you win big?

The book also goes on to mention that others tend to focus on seeing that successful person win that one big win, but what they do not realize is this same person probably had lost countless number of times before the big win... AND will lose countless number of times after until their next big win. The difference though, is that this successful person will be able to recover from their losses, and continue to play the game.

So when do you know when to risk or not risk?... Answer: Intuition! I really do want to believe that my intuition is not bad... but I guess I can never be 100% sure because some hunches can never be validated. The only way to improve on my intuition is to put my money where my mouth is... be it for better or for worse. Doing this enough times, maybe one day when that chance of a lifetime comes, I will be able to risk it all and win...