Seeming to get what I want from not raising a hand, 'lucking' out at the last moment; I wonder if people really think my life is as smooth as this. Sure my life is not brutally rough, but what I've given up in order to be where I am at might not be what they themselves would have ever given up. Guess it goes back to my post about dream chasing (in Mson's Collection)...everyone values things differently; in my world, morality and dreams are worth alot more than any material success...
To keep up with the tides, I became an impatient, rude, cocky, and naive person... As I reflect, 5 years ago, I liked the me in the past alot more than now. I can always lie to myself and blame my changes on being in a program that made me give up on potential dreams, or by a program that made me see how alot of people seem to frivolously throw away fortune's blessings, or just simply cuz I've spent years doing something that I just don't seem to enjoy, and have become decent at...
This last excuse has driven a person who was once very dear and close to me away from me... though I am not naive as to say that people should only do things they enjoy, she does have a point... why did I consciously make a choice to give up the very thing I value for material success? Is reality just an excuse at the end of the day?... I wonder.
Anyway, sorry to all those who had to see my decline in character in the past years... I will make the promise today that I will stop making excuses and become a better person.
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